ministry

I literally just sat upright in my bed (at 3:40am) because I started thinking about this and wanted to write it down.

I am feeling restless right now because I want to be consumed by purpose and I don't really know what that looks like for me right now other than telling myself over and over that ministry is all around me. And I plan on telling myself that until I believe it and live it.

I honestly just could not sleep so I started thinking about heaven. Which made me think about why the heck I am even on this earth. Every time I think about telling other people about Jesus, my heart physically aches when I start thinking about India and the people I met there. I was listening to a podcast and the pastor was talking about heaven being a perfect earth - we are Kingdom builders here on earth and one day God will come to finish the job by restoring the earth to perfection, the way He intended before sin ran its course.

When I think of ministry, I want to go. I want to go far away to places like India where a lot of people have never even heard the name of Jesus. Where so many people are homeless, visibly broken, exhausted, feel forgotten, lost, hopeless, and experience conditions daily that I cannot even imagine. And oh my gosh, I want so badly to see those people in heaven. For them to know of and experience a love far, far greater than any riches we could ever dream of experiencing here on this earth.

Then I stopped for a second and I started to think about the people I see every single day in Knoxville. Hundreds of random people who I come into contact with daily who are so broken, exhausted, feel forgotten, hopeless, depressed, anxious, and look to a world that is nothing but empty to fulfill them.

I want my heart to ache for them in the same way it does for people in India.

God uses the seemingly smallest acts to remind me of my purpose in and through Him. A couple of my Young Life girls texted me recently asking to talk about stuff and I actually cried thinking about the fact that they would choose me to talk to about anything important to them. Like I have the honor of a lifetime in that God trusted me with 20 girls' hearts that I can know and love them and talk to them about Jesus.

Life is just too short to not do things that matter daily. Life is too freaking short to not talk about Jesus. I pray with everything in me that God's never-ending love and grace humbles me daily and that I am reminded of my desperation for Him so that I can be a witness of this love to others, both through my words and my actions. Nothing else matters!