on my mind | in my head
Sometimes what you think becomes who you are, or who you tell yourself you are, and what you do.
Proverbs 4:23 (NCV) tells us "be careful what you think, because your thoughts run your life."
Proverbs 4:23 (NIV) also tells us, "above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it."
Heartbreak, sadness, anger, depression, anxiety, fear, insecurity - these feelings absolutely suck. This is an undeniable fact that will follow us for the rest of our lives here on Earth. One of the most pinpoint-able feelings is the gaping hole left in your chest after your heart is broken or after you experience any form of pain or disappointment.
Life with Jesus is an adventure, and as awesome as it is, we are imperfect humans living imperfect lives. We will, and will continue forever until we die, to experience pain in our lives. Jesus does not promise us happiness and He does not promise that we will never feel pain, but He does absolutely promise that He will be right there with us through it all, and that it will never be more than we can handle with Him by our side.
I, as I'm sure many others can relate to, often get consumed by my sadness and worry. It takes over my thoughts, which leads to many hours sulking, wasting time, watching Netflix, staying shut away in my room, and, as expected worrying. I so often let my feelings control my life, because my feelings are controlled by my deceitful heart instead of being controlled His truths that I choose to speak over my life.
I once read something comparing worrying to sitting in a rocking chair. You can do it for hours and hours. You can go back and forth, worrying about all possible options and outcomes. But you will never get anywhere. When I get stressed, sad, angry, etc. about things, I have extremely realistic and taunting dreams about my struggles. More often than not, those things are the last things I think before I fall asleep, and sure enough, the first things I think about when I wake up in the morning. That's an exhausting cycle. I can tell you based on personal experience, not even being able to find peace in your sleep is some kinda torture. There's good news, though, and it is that with Jesus, this cycle can be broken.
Recently, Philippians 4 has been on the very forefront of my mind. These verses re-entered my life at a time when I needed them most - in the midst of a heartbreak. As I let my thoughts quite literally run my life as Proverbs 4:23 warns us against, Jesus reminded me that I don't need to worry.
How comforting is it to know that we don't need to and shouldn't worry. Let me add, this is so much easier said than done, but considering I believe Jesus can move mountains, I feel confident that He can do work in me if I hand my worries, fears and doubts over to Him instead of dwelling on them. Worrying doesn't add a single second to our life, and can actually control our lives and decisions if we choose to let it. Instead, choose God. Choose prayer and petition over sadness and anxiety over situations that God already has under control.
Going back to the verse in Proverbs, we are told to guard our hearts, because everything we do flows from them. Guard your heart from your own mind. Guard your heart from the lies you let yourself believe. Guard your heart from the incessant worries about situations that have already happened. And that have ended. Guard your heart from guilt. I can't even begin to measure the hours upon hours I have spent feeling guilty about things that cannot be changed.
Why do I do it? Right by my side, I have God, sitting, waiting. Eagerly waiting for me to give up and pour out my heart to him. Something I have learned is that I have to choose to guard my heart by deciding to not walk into a situation before I have asked God if that certain situation would be good for me, even if it's something I really want - making proactive decisions instead of making reactive confessions. God will never mislead you, but we often twist His words and signs to mean whatever we want them to mean. Therefore, cue worry, regret, guilt, shame, sadness, overthinking, etc.
Choose to pray before you overthink. Don't worry about anything, and instead, pray about everything. It doesn't matter the situation - we can be comforted knowing that God is with us through every second of it, no matter how devastating or overwhelming it seems. Choose to depend on God and his enough-ness in times of tribulation.
Pray to get closer to Jesus, to fall in love with Him and let Him captivate your heart. Pray and let yourself hear what He's telling you and what He is trying to teach you.
"Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. it's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life." Philippians 4:6-7 MSG
